My eyes welled up as I looked at the blue, blue sky and thought of the hope that was —- at this moment — breaking into the life of one of my dear friends.
“Thank you, God. Thank you.”
To which I heard Him respond, ”Elizabeth. I want to do that ineveryone’slife.”
And He does, according to His good pleasure. Nothing is too hard for this God.
If you can get rid of expectation, you can’t be disappointed. Working on that. Sad today at missing church and a lot of good converasations with the people close to my heart. Encouraged today that this too will pass.
Thinking of a beautiful friend, I asked, “She’s going to believe in You someday — isn’t she, God?”
“Yes,” He replied.
“I can’t wait,” I sighed.
“Me either.” He smiled.
Today, I’d like to pay homage to the humbling feeling I used to get on being demoted from someone’s top friends on myspace. It’s somewhat reassuring to know that no human is ever entirely irreplaceable. Takes the pressure off ;)
In my prayers for several friends who have struggled for years and years with inability to conceive, I have often found myself at a loss as to how to approach the situation (in prayer and attempts to encourage these individuals). This morning, I heard a Focus on the Family discussion on infertility, and was surprised to hear that much of what people say in these situations is not only unhelpful, but often extremely hurtful.
We want to point people to God, to His faithfulness, and to His sovereignty. But if we are unwilling to sit in silence beside them, we are worse than Job’s “friends”. It is easy for us who are not struggling with an issue to point out the need to turn to the Lord. But this actually draws attention to an apparent “lack of faith” in individuals who already feel disenfranchised. It is worse than one-upping, because it simultaneously points to a problem the speaker doesn’t have and to a solution the hearer seemingly can’t access. It is the ultimate self-righteousness.
We must suffer beside someone in silence before we earn the right to lecture him or her with solutions that cost us nothing. I am glad I heard the words of these women. I hope they will remind me, in the future, to empathize before I attempt to teach a lesson I haven’t had to learn.
From a conversation with a sweet friend:
We all owe God everything we have — we can’t owe Him any more, we can’t owe Him any less.
As the garage door closed behind me, I could feel my eyes begin to sting. Sobs shook my body. But tears wouldn’t come.
It was that song. Those lines. That little girl, who used to sing them with such abandon.
“Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.”
It was my grandmother’s favorite hymn. I learned it at a time when I still believed people don’t hurt those they love, at least not intentionally. At a time when waiting until 16 to date seemed like waiting until life was over. And at a time when trusting God’s hand meant never shedding a tear. I didn’t understand why anyone would be weak or heavy laden, much less why friends would despise and forsake. But I am. And they do.
There I was, three times as old and for a moment only a fraction as confident that God would redeem every tear that had fallen this year — let alone this lifetime.
But only for a moment. Because it struck me then: if I didn’t have a need, I wouldn’t need a Savior. Oh, how I need Him. I wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything — past, present or future.
“Though He slay me, still I will trust Him,” I breathed through barely open lips.
Even more: though He slay me, still I will praise Him.
He can redeem. He must. It is who He is.
Going through my tumblr messages makes me realize that I have awesome online friends. And should be more faithful about writing — because it makes me think about who I am, who God is, and where I’m going. My life is better through those lenses.
hey liz… just wondering where you have been and what’s been going on. It appears that you disappeared from Facebook and have been in the Tumblr world more frequently than most… of which I’m both excited and saddened…. excited because the slew of posts that appear on my Tumblr wall is mostly you and each tidbit is both deep, rich, joyous, and fun… saddened because you’re not on Facebook anymore apparently… which means contact w/ you is null and void as per your disappearance from aforementioned social network site…
all of that to say… i miss your online presence… and I am hoping that all is well with you…