In the medical field, we can drive ourselves crazy researching potential adverse outcomes of disease experienced by those we love. As Christians, however, we have a responsibility to walk by faith — not by evidence based medicine, or even by sight. Today, I felt strongly reprimanded by the Lord. I was becaming increasingly worried while researching the effects of a disease that had affected someone I love. And I felt God impress on my heart this question, “Whose report will you believe?”

My soul stilled.

Is it more of a miracle for Him to heal what is broken than it was for Him to create from nothing?

I am learning the value and the gift of repentance in the life of the believer.  When we turn everything over to the Lord, in full surrender, He can make it all new. 

It is human nature to become consumed by our own life events. We forget our calling to suffer beside others when we are experiencing joy. We forget the command to rejoice with others even in times we are facing difficulties.

We are selfish, foolish creatures who do not remember that God has made us for more than these incessant worries and small triumphs. We are told to lose our lives in His. And we can measure how close we are to this goal based on what percentage of the day we are thinking only of things that affect ourselves.

alifethatsaysthankyou:

193.  A safe place to sleep at night.  So many around the world do not have this luxury.

Gratitude helps you live longer, happier and more fully.  Start your gratitude blog today (five things a day for which you are thankful — this practice will change your life). 

Today, I looked a cashier in the eye and asked how she was. A smile melted the look of frustration from her face. And I realized: this is what it means to be a real person. To have time to talk to the people who God brings across our path each day.

So glad to be entering a new stage of life. So glad to be entering the world of real personhood again.

Oh, reality, I have missed you. It has been a long three years. But God is faithful, and life is sweet.

Life crush list review.

Every so often I notice a gnawing sense if entitlement gripping my heart. Like on Saturday morning when the vast majority of people are catching up on their errands and I find myself racing off to yet another day of work, trying to finish three loads of laundry befoere I leave. But today I realized: I am only entitled to the life God gave me. And I am responsible to live it well — Saturday employment not withstanding.

I hate residency more than I have ever hated anything. Mostly, because of the time and energy this training has stolen from the people in my life whom I love most dearly. Some days, I just sob through my morning workout while begging God to make something - anything - good from this time. I know He can. And I pray He will. And I pray the end of all these things will come quickly.

I am ridiculously blessed. Sometimes I just look at my husband and think: I can’t believe he chose me.

Which reminds me of a God who chooses us, despite us, every day. We are an unbelievably blessed people.

So many people I knew as a teenager were called to missions.  Today, it is hard for me to watch our Facebook newsfeeds and Pinterest boards tell different stories.  Stories of comfortable middle class living, with optimally decorated nurseries and kitchens.  This is not the calling we claimed.  

God.  Wake us up.  Stir something in us that makes us unwilling to spend thousands of dollars on a year of life for one child in this country, when billions around the world are dying.  Give us back our old dreams — and some new ones, too.  

This is the life and the struggle, the way He chooses to refine. When we ask to be holy, we must submit everything: our dreams, plans, and desires to have/be/live more than those around us. We must get off everyone else’s timeline, the one that includes stepwise “achievements” and never includes 430am, and just serve/worship/be where we are. He never stops being worth it.

So grateful for the days and blessings God has given me.  Most recently, for a husband who encourages me to grow daily into a life that would most honor Him. 

Today we commemorate the passing from death to life, from bondage to freedom, from brokenness to completion. We are not home yet.

But He is.

And He is risen.

He is risen indeed.

I have found it is very difficult to grit one’s teeth while singing.

In medicine, as in life, it is difficult to elicit gratitude from people if you are giving them what they don’t want without addressing their perceived needs.